01:20 // 2025.08.24
i always think a lot at night. i dont know if its good that i stay up late. im always tired during the day
the day always seems pointless. i can only ever feel free during the night, later the better.
daytime is so tiring.. full of appointments and unwanted socializing with people i dont feel that close to.
the only thing good during the day is that i get to talk to my girlfriend. she always makes life seem bareable.
the future seems pointless, i only continue at the hope one day her and i will be able to live together.
i dont expect much from life, i expect a shitty job and a shitty house or apartment. life will probably go that way.
or worse, the state of the world is in shambles, sometimes it makes me feel bad but its usually for selfish purposes.
i will probably make an article on my feelings with selfishness and human nature. sometimes i think im too negative.
i often try to see the positives but there is very few, sometimes it seems like it would be better off if i wasnt here.
i wouldnt say im suicidal, just like everyone im scared of dying at the end of the day. it would just be better if i
didnt exist i think. sometimes my existance seems to do only negatives to those around me, i try to do positives.
i have been researching comforting techniques and other stuff to try and help my girlfriend, i do care about her.
i often struggle with empathy and caring truly about someone, yet she has been one of the only exceptions to that.
i hope i do actually love her and its not my brain playing tricks on me for shits and giggles. i would be upset.
maybe im just overthinking again, its hard to trust my thoughts when they arent my own most of the time. i dont
feel like myself, i barely feel human.
01:31
goodnight everyone, especially my girlfriend
always remember, 74 loves you
songs
a thousand greetings ♥
play with flowers
